Finding Freedom

The thing about working two full time jobs is that, sooner or later, the exhaustion really gets to you.  I remember when my dad took a second job as a newspaper deliverer.  The way that job worked is that he had to get up at 2:30 in the a.m., go to the printing center, fold the newspapers, and then go through his route.  He was lucky if he got home by 6.  A couple of times, while he took a trip or something, I went and took his place for a few mornings, and it gave me a great appreciation for how much he loved us for him to be willing to go through such a ridiculous routine.  I think my dad’s pretty amazing considering some of the tough luck patches that he’s gone through.

I guess my second job at the theatre doesn’t have as much of a love for others as it is a love for the experience, but I still am getting totally trashed by the stupid number of hours I’m putting in between my two jobs.  With a month to go of the show, I’m left to seriously contemplate what kind of a crazy person would put himself through this.

However, even as wiped as I am right now, I always seem to forget about the limits of my body when I see that next audition, and I start to dream about being in that next show.  I just wish I could get an extra helping of that optimism right now when it seems the most impossible.

Another opening, another show indeed.

It seems that sometimes everything is about money, and, in the case of my friends’ upcoming divorce, part of the issue has to do with money, especially as money relates to what each person expected from life and from marriage. 

I feel freedom to discuss this here as neither of them knows that this site exists.

Part of the story is that the two had decided that one of them should find a well paying job using skills learned in college while the other one went to graduate school to pursue a degree in photography.  They had also decided that the one in school should also work.  However, due to the demands of being in school full-time, any work would have to be of a part-time, and therefore, much less paying nature.
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I have a bit of a confession.  I spent a good deal of money over the weekend on some things that I certainly shouldn’t have spent a good deal of money on. 

I’m a bit disappointed because I thought that I was past these little spending splurges, and looking back now, I can’t help but think how much better that money could have been spent paying down some of my debt.

Sigh.  I suppose these little trips off of the savings wagon make being on the wagon that much more pleasant and pleasurable.  Let’s hope that I remember that next time.

I received a letter in the mail a few days ago that said that I didn’t get into the top, and only, grad school that I applied to.  I am disappointed.  However, I know that because I won’t have to worry about school come fall, I can continue to work at my day job and earn good money for another year.

While this makes life not as exciting as it could be, I think that it’s probably for the best for me, at least for right now.  Next year, though, boy, let me tell you, I’m getting in by hook or by crook.

Anybody know any burglars? 

I’ve got a call back this coming Sunday evening for a local theatre company that pays its non-union actors pretty well.  This is a double bonus because, if I get the part (knock on wood), I will be getting more local exposure from a fairly reputable company who likes to hire actors it has already hired over and over again (which would lead to more work) and, the supplemental income from the show would help me continue to pay down my debt.  In addition, the show would not affect my work schedule at my regular job nearly as much as the show I am currently in is doing (8 shows a week, a one-way driving time of half an hour, three matinees during normal business hours, all of which while trying to get 40 hours in at my desk job is very, very exhausting).

The show is Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and I am up against two other actors for this part.  I got a really good vibe from the director at the original audition, though, so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see if my good vibration was well founded or not.

I’m at an exciting time in life, where theatres are starting to pay me to do things that I would gladly do for free.  Just don’t tell them that. 

My girlfriend’s roommate has a bit of a debt problem.  I can obviously emphathize with her, but based on how frustrated she is making my girlfriend, I find my empathy shrinking every day.

Here’s the story.  The roommate has asthma, and it is serious enough that she, about once a year or so, has to go and stay in the hospital overnight because she just can’t breathe.  Unfortunately for her, overnight hospital stays are quite expensive.  What is also unfortunate for her is that she has chosen not to purchase insurance, and she doesn’t get benefits through her employer.  Because of this, she has accummulated about $60,000 in hospital bills.

She works with a drama group that visits local schools, and provides instructional presentations on aspects of American history, which I both think is a kind of cool and worthwhile job.  However, she only takes home, after taxes, about $300 a week.

Further, a few months ago, her boyfriend was driving her car, and got into an accident.  He was fine, but the car was totalled.  Rather then doing what I think just about anybody would think was prudent based on her situation, that is, try to purchase a used, reliable car for a few thousand dollars, she applied and was accepted for a car loan so that she could buy a brand new Nissan X-Terra.  While it is certainly cool to have a brand new car, this choice added another $30,000 in debt.

On the positive side, she doesn’t have very much credit card debt.  On the negative side, this is probably due to the fact that her credit score is probably very low because she hasn’t really made efforts to pay off her hospital debt.  I remember that she once talked her boyfriend into getting a Best Buy credit card, because she had been denied, so that they could purchase some things from the store.

The only reason I know these things is that she asked my girfriend to look through her finances, and try to figure out a way that she could fix them.  My girlfriend spent a month looking through the finances, and concluded that the roommate should sell her new car, get a used one, and get a second, and possibly, a third job.  This is due to the fact that she brings home $1200 a month, $500 goes to car payments, $500 goes to rent, $100 goes to insurance, and $100 goes to gas every month, which leaves her no money to either live on or to make efforts at paying the hospitals.  Because of this, she overdrafts her checking account frequently, which puts her deeper and deeper in debt.

The roommate’s response has been to do nothing differently.

While I feel badly for the roommate both in that she owes so much money, which can be daunting, and that getting rid of a new car would be a serious admittance of a problem, I feel like there are going to be definiate consequences to her inaction.  While I certainly have no moral authority to throw stones based on my own debt situation, both my girlfriend and I are worried about her because she seems to be lacking any kind of responsibility for her actions.

Have any of you ever been in similar situations, where someone that you care about is living seemlessly recklessly?  Unfortunately, my girlfriend has loaned her about $1500 in rent money, which is money that she is starting to suspect that she won’t ever get back.  Does she have any recourse?  What do you think? 

I recently received a card in the mail from Chase Manhattan Corp, with whom I have one of my credit cards.  The card had various pictures of what appeared to be groups of friends smiling at one another.  The inside of the card said something along the lines of, “Why don’t you take this opportunity to pay down some of the balance of your card?  A credit card that is close to its limit can reflect poorly on your credit score.  if you need help or credit counseling, feel free to call this toll-free number.”

By this, they of course meant, “Dear deadbeat, we’d like our money back, so please send us a check lest we send Vito and Tony over to your place to put various parts of your anatomy into vices.”

Sigh…I’m working on it, Chase.  Thanks for sending the pick-me-up.

I spoke with my employer at my regular job, and he said that it was all right to adjust my schedule in such a way as to make doing the show work.  He further said that he trusted me, and just as long as my customers weren’t complaining, he really didn’t have any problem with it.

I sort of figured that he would be all right with it, but it is certainly very soothing and gratifying to hear it right from his mouth.

Some of you may remember that I auditioned for a show in a professional theatre a few months ago.  I didn’t get the part, but, because I at first did not succeed, I tried, tried again, this time with a different but just as prestigious theatre in the area.

And I got a part.

Obviously I’m as pleased as punch, but one of the greatest things about this is that they will be paying me pretty well for my time and efforts.  While it would be quite difficult to live on just that income, I’m pretty sure that I’m going to be able to keep my day job as well, which means that my income will go up by about a third.  When you consider that the most I have received for acting in the past was a stipend of $200 for the whole rehearsal process and run of the show, getting paid nearly twice that weekly is not only awesome, but also a tremendous verification that I’m getting closer to doing the right things with my life.

What the extra money means to me is that I’ll be able to pay down my debts that much more quickly while thoroughly improving my acting resume.  Plus, because I will essentially be working two jobs, I’ll have less time to spend any extra money, which will only add to savings.

Sometimes you just have to keep trying, you know?  There’s something to be said about perseverance.

The new apartment is great. My new roomie is a great guy, and he’s even responsible enough to clean up when things are messy, which is leaps and bounds better than my previous roommates, who were firm believers in the law of entropy. Not that I’m such a clean person myself, but there are only so many times you can realize that there are maggots growing in the dirty dishes in the sink before you get fed up. That number for me is less than or equal to one.

However, as I spend time reflecting on how my roommates were good people but bad roommates, I need to be careful to get the whole picture across. When you are angry or disappointed with someone, it is often quite easy to take one of their least attractive traits and magnify it.

Is this how I would want people to look at and judge me? To look at my ugliest traits and think that I am nothing but that? A seriously in debt usually reformed gambler? Though this is generally how I present myself here, thinking about my former roommates has forced me to cast the glance inwards, and to think about myself. I had to realize that, even though some things really grate on a person, there is more to most people than the sum of their bad parts.

Here’s to hoping that I will, in the future, remember the good times a little bit more readily than the bad. After all, aren’t good relationships more important than a clean apartment? Not that one can’t be helped by the other, mind you…