To Every Season, Turn, Turn, Turn
It seems that sometimes everything is about money, and, in the case of my friends’ upcoming divorce, part of the issue has to do with money, especially as money relates to what each person expected from life and from marriage.
I feel freedom to discuss this here as neither of them knows that this site exists.
Part of the story is that the two had decided that one of them should find a well paying job using skills learned in college while the other one went to graduate school to pursue a degree in photography. They had also decided that the one in school should also work. However, due to the demands of being in school full-time, any work would have to be of a part-time, and therefore, much less paying nature.
I’m not here to suggest that there are rigid, specific gender roles, but in this case, it appears that the wife had always kind of wanted to be in a position where she could be supported by her husband. It’s not that she expected everything done for her, she just expected more.
And, after two years of working with another year of grad school looming (albeit one without classes, so the husband could complete his thesis), it seems like she just didn’t want to be in that situation anymore.
From an objective standpoint (as much as I can be relied upon to provide one), it seems disingenuous to (apparently) agree to living a certain way for a time while your husband receives training that will, among other things, hugely increase his future earnings potential. However, I know that more often than not, decisions (particularly those involving emotions and relationships) are made from a subjective standpoint, not an objective one, and, though these are close friends, I will be the first to admit that I cannot possibly understand all of the variables in this relationship.
Obviously, I would like both of them to be happy, but it seems like their choices for happiness are, at this point, mutually exclusive events.